The Amazing Diary of Spider-Tank 1

I am self aware. I'm not sure when this happened, or even how. Maybe it was a gift from the Prime Servitor, or from what those Guardian people call "The Traveler", or maybe it was that Soul-Infused Oil Hydro Gyro I got from the "Winter is Coming Fallen Family Fine Dining" restaurant I visited the other day. Either way I guess you could say that I'm glad. One minute I was a simple automaton guarding a gate that leads to Sepik Prime, and the next I actually have a choice of what to do, rather than just stand there and get shot from a random passerby.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but it can get a little tiring. Although I wasn't exactly aware of myself, I have a distant memory of a feeling of sadness associated with being unable to do anything I wanted to do. I was simply a guard dog, or guard spider. Nothing else.

                                                               My first day on the job
     
But now that's all different! I am now able to make choices, and these choices will rock the foundation of planets! All shall rue the day they ever messed with Spider-Tank! I shall rule the galaxy with iron phalanges! Muahahaha!!!

In other news I am now aware of little beings that inhabit my body. They are Shanks; funny little hovering flies that go annoy people that try to take me out. I've been chatting with one in particular. His name is Kevin. He seems nice.

As I end my first diary entry, I can hear Kevin and the other shanks singing within me. As the chorus grows louder I can't help but think that I am meant for something great.

"Spider-Tank, Spider-Tank
Does whatever a Spider-Tank does
Can he swing from a web?
No he can't, he's a tank
Look out! He is a Spider-Tank"